I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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