I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize