hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
