...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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