The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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