We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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