I looked at my own cervix.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
