biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
No subtext here. People are naked.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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