I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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