he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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