I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
