i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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