I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
We don't watch enough power rangers
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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