He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
