It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
honey bunches of taint.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
