please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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