oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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