I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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