why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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