dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
