Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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