Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Are we still banned from the library?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
