Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My vagina just clenched in fear
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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