It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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