he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
