Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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