took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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