So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize