HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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