considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
