Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
