I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
