You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
