STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
