found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
