I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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