she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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