belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
the raccoons are back...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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