i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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