We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
