at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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