It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
