Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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