i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
