mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
