What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
