she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
