yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
