tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
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