that's an acceptable place to lick
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
