Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
