Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
