what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
my being single is dangerous.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize