how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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