In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
