I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Even my vagina gasped.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
