Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize