good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
