Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
