This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
