if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
