My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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