Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
