It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
