toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize