I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
