yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
